Getting pissed off with the nurse about to put toxins in my vein isn’t a helpful response. From the time my doctor said I had an aggressive Triple Negative kind of breast cancer, I never stopped finding new and entertaining ways to be conflict competent.
Competence is the ability and attitude to apply what you know in new situations that arise. Conflict Competence is a wonderful skill to have. Through competently handled conflicts we learn, grow and develop, which are unexpected positive outcomes of conflict.
And you never know when you might need these skills to cope with adversity. Fortunately, I have a toolbox of conflict competencies and must have used them all to get through the medical crap. Here’s where I get to share the stories while I process the experiences for my own healing.
Here are my beliefs: There are life lessons in every conflict. Every person who has many conflicts will notice the natural conflict cycles and similarities, or the same unsatisfactory conflicts, over and over. Conflict changes to satisfactory when we recognize the patterns in the conflicts we have over and over.
Being conflict competent means:
- Understanding the patterns in your conflict interactions
- Enhancing the patterns that improve your conflict interactions
- Changing the patterns that don’t improve your conflict interactions
Being conflict competent let me find advantages in living breastlessly. I’ll get to those in later posts.